🔍 Doing the things you can't seem to focus on. For most of my life, the direction and intensity of my focus has felt mostly out of my control. I’ve always known that when something drew me in, I could spend hours and hours hyperfocusing on it (hobbies, video games, etc). Yet when something important-but-boring needed my attention, it seemed impossible to focus for more than even a few seconds.
I’ve found that I can trick myself by making something other than the boring thing into the main task. Folding laundry is dull, no matter what entertainment I put on in the background, but if I think of the laundry as something to keep my hands busy while I watch TV, it somehow feels completely different.
I've had recent success with a variation of "do one small step."
Sometimes even one small step feels overwhelming or impossible so I tried reframing it to "do the absolute TINIEST POSSIBLE step" and have had great success!
This reminds me when I had Sharon Pope (CEO of Shelpful) on my podcast, and she talked about her tiny habit that was literally putting her foot on the floor when she heard her alarm in the morning. Not "get up and get dressed", not "get out of bed", not even "sit up in bed", just "put my foot on the floor". Those teeny tiny steps can so often be the thing that we can actually get started with that lead to behavior change (especially if you allow yourself to sometimes only do that tiny step and still count it as a success).
Hey Jesse, Im really enjoying your podcast and I will try to take on the hacks offered, but it disturbs me as a very late diagnosed (56) adhder that all the guests are successful in their field, actually having been able to pick a field, while, Im assuming, there are a lot of people, like me, whose lives have been completely destroyed by adhd and can be discouraged by hearing only success stories, though playing a story like mine could be a bit deppressing...
Hi Danielle, I was also diagnosed later in life (38, although I had also been diagnosed as a child and just not told about it, it turns out. I'm 54 now.). And while the therapy and meds have certainly helped arrest what felt like an uncontrollable slide at the time, I definitely still struggle every day, not only with what ADHD makes hard and/or impossible for me now, but also with the regrets and sadness about what could have been if I been given the right tools as a kid. The kinds of therapy that are truly helpful for this condition are hard enough when you're young, full of energy and enthusiasm, and blessed with free time to practice them - they feel like mountains when you have decades of bad habit, discouragement, and overwhelming adult responsibilities to overcome. So I can't pretend to offer an uplifting and hopeful response to you (sorry!) but I can tell you that you're not alone. I know how this feels, and I offer my heartfelt empathy to you. What I tell myself each day is that mountains are climbed one step at a time. If I only take one step today, I'm closer to the top. And if I don't take a step - well, Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norway had rest days on the way up Everest, too. So maybe just take one step today. Good luck!
Hey Ben Rollins, thankyou so much for this. I am in a much better place than years ago and am considering a science degree! Its a very scary idea and needs more income than I have, but Im hoping meds will COMPLETELY CHANGE MY LIFE! I know, reality may not agree but we'll see. Im really angry about my adhd and that all help is stupidly expensive but. But. All the best to you also. Community is good ( unless its a cult. Lol).
We're an ADHD family, so I made cleanup for my young kids fun by sorting. One night they'd clean up everything made of paper, then plastic, then wood, then cloth. Another night it would be everything red, then yellow, then green. Or we'd sort by size from big to small, or by the alphabet from A to Z.
I have a growing collection of little "treats" that have a built-in timed moment, such as the time it takes for an electric kettle to boil (for tea = the treat). I've found it works wonders to decide I'll reward myself with tea for putting away the dishes for example: I turn the kettle on, and i race it while speed-emptying the dishwasher. Big bonus is that it's made my dishes layout Very Efficient.
(Another never-failing trick is when an external person dares me, e.g. "Oh, I but i KNOW you can't get dressed, made up, AND fold the laundry before it's time for us to leave". I'll be done with time to spare HAHA)
I think the common denominator is making it about Speed and not the task itself.
I have my tv on a lazy susan set up so it can spin into my kitchen and I'll put on some kind of video I don't need to pay so much attention to but have mild interest in (Cook at All Costs on Netflix was my latest obsession). The dishes get done in no time flat. Otherwise, I need to force myself to do it to keep a habit streak going.
In the more extreme cases of my brain flat out refusing to to do something boring, I trick it by having something exciting I really, really want to do prepared and I combine them or alternate them. The boring thing piggybacks on my focus on the exciting thing and boring things get moved along.
For the less severe cases, having a YouTube video in the background seems to be enough to make me endure doing the boring bits that need to be done.
Oh great now I have to write a novel to fold the laundry!
I’ve found I’m more productive if I know I have a lot of time to myself. That way I can space things out and do them on my timetable and not someone else’s. A tough thing to secure with a family though.
I also only watch TV shows or other things that interest me alone when I’m doing chores I can do while watching. This is a win-win because usually the chore or the show alone aren’t enough to keep me engaged.
I wish I had solutions, but I struggle to focus on my work. The work I have to do to maintain my job and my paycheck. I would rather be doing almost anything /but/ the work I have to do. And now we're entering into busy season, so I'm required to be at work over 50hrs/week with most of that being client-facing work (the work I struggle to focus on!)
Unfortunately, most tricks for making boring tasks possible relate to tasks that don't really utilize brain power, like dishes, laundry, paperwork, etc. But, my job uses all my brain power. I'm going to try something I learned from Kai8Seasons over on IG - celebrate. Celebrate before, during, and/or after I do the tasks I need to do and tell my brain that I love what I'm doing, I enjoy doing this work, etc. And hopefully that'll help my brain start seeing my day job work as something it needs to focus on. lol.
Listening to podcasts when cleaning is a must for me (especially the bathroom)! Otherwise, chunking tasks or telling myself I'll just do a little bit often works for me to make things feel less daunting and get started. I like to be methodical with folding laundry, doing a particular type of clothing or one person's clothes in one go to give myself that 'tick' mini sense of achievement.
Since I got a radio and walkman when I was 13, I found that I could start and get through "difficult" or "boring/labour intensive" tasks by listening to music I love. Getting older into adulthood, even doing basic tasks has felt impossible and overwhelming at times. But when I remember to put earphones on and put on an exciting soundtrack or songs I love, I can get the tasks started and my hyper-focus kicks in.
One thing that really helped me when it comes to folding laundry is that I started sorting everything into piles first, instead of pulling one article of clothing out of the basket and folding it right away. For me, it's fun to organize the laundry like this and then I have piles of the things that, once folded, will go in the same place.
The process of sorting is often enough to motivate me to continue and at least start folding, but even if not it frees up my laundry basket for the dirty clothes I've accumulated on the floor 😂
I’ve found that I can trick myself by making something other than the boring thing into the main task. Folding laundry is dull, no matter what entertainment I put on in the background, but if I think of the laundry as something to keep my hands busy while I watch TV, it somehow feels completely different.
Totally - I love tricks like this where it's all about reframing your mindsight to make the same circumstances feel right with your brain!
I've had recent success with a variation of "do one small step."
Sometimes even one small step feels overwhelming or impossible so I tried reframing it to "do the absolute TINIEST POSSIBLE step" and have had great success!
This reminds me when I had Sharon Pope (CEO of Shelpful) on my podcast, and she talked about her tiny habit that was literally putting her foot on the floor when she heard her alarm in the morning. Not "get up and get dressed", not "get out of bed", not even "sit up in bed", just "put my foot on the floor". Those teeny tiny steps can so often be the thing that we can actually get started with that lead to behavior change (especially if you allow yourself to sometimes only do that tiny step and still count it as a success).
I’ve been thinking a lot about this since the podcast! I ask myself, what is that actual next thing you can do to move towards movement.
Hey Jesse, Im really enjoying your podcast and I will try to take on the hacks offered, but it disturbs me as a very late diagnosed (56) adhder that all the guests are successful in their field, actually having been able to pick a field, while, Im assuming, there are a lot of people, like me, whose lives have been completely destroyed by adhd and can be discouraged by hearing only success stories, though playing a story like mine could be a bit deppressing...
In true adhd form, 1 sentence.
Hi Danielle, I was also diagnosed later in life (38, although I had also been diagnosed as a child and just not told about it, it turns out. I'm 54 now.). And while the therapy and meds have certainly helped arrest what felt like an uncontrollable slide at the time, I definitely still struggle every day, not only with what ADHD makes hard and/or impossible for me now, but also with the regrets and sadness about what could have been if I been given the right tools as a kid. The kinds of therapy that are truly helpful for this condition are hard enough when you're young, full of energy and enthusiasm, and blessed with free time to practice them - they feel like mountains when you have decades of bad habit, discouragement, and overwhelming adult responsibilities to overcome. So I can't pretend to offer an uplifting and hopeful response to you (sorry!) but I can tell you that you're not alone. I know how this feels, and I offer my heartfelt empathy to you. What I tell myself each day is that mountains are climbed one step at a time. If I only take one step today, I'm closer to the top. And if I don't take a step - well, Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norway had rest days on the way up Everest, too. So maybe just take one step today. Good luck!
Hey Ben Rollins, thankyou so much for this. I am in a much better place than years ago and am considering a science degree! Its a very scary idea and needs more income than I have, but Im hoping meds will COMPLETELY CHANGE MY LIFE! I know, reality may not agree but we'll see. Im really angry about my adhd and that all help is stupidly expensive but. But. All the best to you also. Community is good ( unless its a cult. Lol).
We're an ADHD family, so I made cleanup for my young kids fun by sorting. One night they'd clean up everything made of paper, then plastic, then wood, then cloth. Another night it would be everything red, then yellow, then green. Or we'd sort by size from big to small, or by the alphabet from A to Z.
Novelty almost always wins with getting my kids engaged. 🙌
I love this so much!!
In fact...will try this as I try to clean my disaster of a studio!
I have a growing collection of little "treats" that have a built-in timed moment, such as the time it takes for an electric kettle to boil (for tea = the treat). I've found it works wonders to decide I'll reward myself with tea for putting away the dishes for example: I turn the kettle on, and i race it while speed-emptying the dishwasher. Big bonus is that it's made my dishes layout Very Efficient.
(Another never-failing trick is when an external person dares me, e.g. "Oh, I but i KNOW you can't get dressed, made up, AND fold the laundry before it's time for us to leave". I'll be done with time to spare HAHA)
I think the common denominator is making it about Speed and not the task itself.
I have my tv on a lazy susan set up so it can spin into my kitchen and I'll put on some kind of video I don't need to pay so much attention to but have mild interest in (Cook at All Costs on Netflix was my latest obsession). The dishes get done in no time flat. Otherwise, I need to force myself to do it to keep a habit streak going.
I have an ipad stand that allows me to watch something not too brain-intensive while doing laundry, dishes, etc.
In the more extreme cases of my brain flat out refusing to to do something boring, I trick it by having something exciting I really, really want to do prepared and I combine them or alternate them. The boring thing piggybacks on my focus on the exciting thing and boring things get moved along.
For the less severe cases, having a YouTube video in the background seems to be enough to make me endure doing the boring bits that need to be done.
Oh great now I have to write a novel to fold the laundry!
I’ve found I’m more productive if I know I have a lot of time to myself. That way I can space things out and do them on my timetable and not someone else’s. A tough thing to secure with a family though.
I also only watch TV shows or other things that interest me alone when I’m doing chores I can do while watching. This is a win-win because usually the chore or the show alone aren’t enough to keep me engaged.
I wish I had solutions, but I struggle to focus on my work. The work I have to do to maintain my job and my paycheck. I would rather be doing almost anything /but/ the work I have to do. And now we're entering into busy season, so I'm required to be at work over 50hrs/week with most of that being client-facing work (the work I struggle to focus on!)
Unfortunately, most tricks for making boring tasks possible relate to tasks that don't really utilize brain power, like dishes, laundry, paperwork, etc. But, my job uses all my brain power. I'm going to try something I learned from Kai8Seasons over on IG - celebrate. Celebrate before, during, and/or after I do the tasks I need to do and tell my brain that I love what I'm doing, I enjoy doing this work, etc. And hopefully that'll help my brain start seeing my day job work as something it needs to focus on. lol.
Listening to podcasts when cleaning is a must for me (especially the bathroom)! Otherwise, chunking tasks or telling myself I'll just do a little bit often works for me to make things feel less daunting and get started. I like to be methodical with folding laundry, doing a particular type of clothing or one person's clothes in one go to give myself that 'tick' mini sense of achievement.
working out for me!! always does it
I find reading a book the most boring work but I love writing. And I feel happy when someone else likes your post.😊
Since I got a radio and walkman when I was 13, I found that I could start and get through "difficult" or "boring/labour intensive" tasks by listening to music I love. Getting older into adulthood, even doing basic tasks has felt impossible and overwhelming at times. But when I remember to put earphones on and put on an exciting soundtrack or songs I love, I can get the tasks started and my hyper-focus kicks in.
One thing that really helped me when it comes to folding laundry is that I started sorting everything into piles first, instead of pulling one article of clothing out of the basket and folding it right away. For me, it's fun to organize the laundry like this and then I have piles of the things that, once folded, will go in the same place.
The process of sorting is often enough to motivate me to continue and at least start folding, but even if not it frees up my laundry basket for the dirty clothes I've accumulated on the floor 😂
This works for me as well! It helps to break it down into a manageable first step.